About being punished by death for Gen's lack of self-preservation: Would Attolia really would have them killed? We don't know. All we know is, that that is what his attendants are saying. Now sure, she had a reputation as hard and cruel and maybe it was really believable that she'd react that way, but I think that maybe part of the reason they're saying that is just because it would be too "uncool" to say, "we dont' want him to die". At this point in the story, the attendants are the only people that "get it" that Attolia really loves him and also they are the only ones that truly respect and admire him. But the rest of the court still despises him. And besides, we're talking about men. They're going to put on their tough guy face and say, "well, we don't want him to die because that'll get me in trouble". Rather than admit to anything that might be construed as an emotional attachment to Gen. (Not saying they love him, just that they respect and admire him.)
Now about question 5: I've thought a lot about Attolia's public behavior towards Gen: How she is stony faced as he kisses her cheek every morning at breakfast; how she's surprised to see the crowd staring at her after just kissing him passionately (right after he was stabbed) and how they use secret passageways to visit each other's rooms at night. I think that they both purposefully chose to give everybody this perception. And my theory about why is this: They need for all the Attolians to love and respect Gen for who he is, first, before they understand that she loves him too. If she would have convincingly displayed her love for him from the beginning, she would have lost their respect, and that is the main thing keeping her in power. If she displays her love, but not convincingly, she loses their trust. This way was better. Gen of course, thought this all through and planned it this way.