Why I love QoA

[in-my-niteshirt.livejournal.com]

Maybe this post is too "deep" or too personal, but I'm posting it anyway, because I'm curious if there are people out there like me.
One (of many) reasons QoA is my favorite book is because of the theme MWT addresses in it about loss and about God.  I have dealt with loss.  Really hard, brutal loss.  I didn't lose my right hand, but it was pretty much the worst thing that I could have imagined.  And it took a while for me to stop blaming God, and to stop feeling like God didn't care.  Eventually you make peace with it, at least on some level, but it never really is "okay".  With enough time, you realize that there are silver linings even in the darkest clouds, and that maybe it was all necessary for you to become who you are supposed to become. 
It seems to me that this theme is the point of the whole book.  It starts with Gen losing his hand, and pretty much ends when the Gods let him in on the fact that yes, they did that to him on purpose, but no, it wasn't because they have forsaken him. 
So did anybody else relate to this theme?  Did anybody notice it? 

Comments

[idiosyncreant.livejournal.com]

I think that is what's powerful about the book in itself--and it spills over into KoA.

The loss doesn't go away for Gen, he just learns to live with it.

I think we all relate to that, with different approaches--some of us with less dramatic losses, but understanding the pain anyway.

[rosaleeluann.livejournal.com]

One of my favorite parts of QoA is when Nahu-guy comes and 'saves' Attolia and Gen is chained up. Gen is despairing and thinks, Oh my god, if you cannot save me, make me less afraid.(I don't have my books handy, its something like that.) Then, Gen falls. And when he gets up, he is angry, not afraid.

Of course, I didn't notice all of this myself. That is part of why I love this community. And MWT :-)

[idiosyncreant.livejournal.com]

PS, is your username a KoA reference? *grins huge*

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

there are silver linings even in the darkest clouds, and that maybe it was all necessary for you to become who you are supposed to become.

Yes! I agree. But this:

the Gods let him in on the fact that yes, they did that to him on purpose

I'm mixed on. Did they *do* that to him, or only allow the circumstances to occur that led to it, with the final decisions made by humans? They caused Attolia to catch Gen and urged her not to kill him, which would have offended the gods. Did they know for certain what she would do to Gen? Because they knew her so well? She still *could* have killed him. She nearly did. She almost had him hanged. He almost died of fever. She might never have believed in his love, never have accepted his proposal. Attolia might still have been "lost to the Mede."

I don't know. But it's certainly true that Gen would probably never have become Eugenides the King-and-almost-Annux if Attolia hadn't cut off his hand, and that the gods were behind it all.

[thelasteddis.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that was always a favorite of mine, as well.

In fact, that whole scene was interesting, because (in my opinion) it's the culimation of Irene's development as a character. She's just realizing that she's in love with Gen, and that she's sorry (understatment) she cut off his hand for more reasons than just, "if I had I wouldn't have to deal with all this crap". The problem is, it's the moment when she's expected, as a queen, to have him tortured and killed. Awkward.

Which is why the scene with the earrings is so WONDERFUL.

[kulai-raito.livejournal.com]

yea i always wonder can the gods like foresee the future? I think they can predict it well already, but sometimes it feels that they know what going to happen already. Like how would they know Eddis is to be the last eddis and all..?

you guys are so good at analyzing that I'm happy to just sit back and listen to what your thoughts are.

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

One of my favorite lines in QoA is from Attolia, when Eugenides is asking her to build the altar to Hephestia, and she says she will not, "Because I believe but I do not choose to worship."

It always seemed like such a powerful statement, to believe in the gods or God and then not worship--and how she has to come to term with that rage at all gods. *shivers* It's deep stuff, and I love mulling over it in my mind. So thank you for bringing it up!

[in-my-niteshirt.livejournal.com]

But of course! (and it works as a double meaning because I'm often here at bedtime.)

[in-my-niteshirt.livejournal.com]

The reason I say the Gods did that to him is because of two things: They told Attolia how to catch Gen, and they told Nahuseresh where Attolia had been taken. The Gods are definitely not just spectators, and they didn't just let things happen.

[in-my-niteshirt.livejournal.com]

*I love that part too!* And I didn't notice it myself either, it was brought up here sometime ago. I love this community (though I'm often just a lurker) and I fantasize about meeting MWT. She's amazing!

[inkasrain.livejournal.com]

This is very poignant. Especially important I think, as anachred mentioned above, is that Gen (and Attolia as well) still deals with the loss of his hand in KoA. In life, you don't switch chapters or close the book and instantly heal-- recovery from any loss is a long-term process, and I think it is amazing that Gen reflects this, both in a literary sense and in an emotional sense.

[ashertoashes.livejournal.com]

This is exactly what brings me back to the books. I'm so glad someone else has been affected by it. Totally amazing subtexts here.

My favorite is from King of Attolia, when the god catches Gen on the wall, and he says "know that you'll never die of a fall unless the god himself drops you." That's been my favorite quote for over a year now - to know that what happens to me is not an accident, that I cannot fall unless I am dropped, and that God has no intention of dropping me.

That idea, that you'll never be dropped unless it's intentional, along with Gen losing his hand and that seeming like a pretty significant drop - helloooo, I lost my hand here??? if that's not the "god dropping me," what is??? - but then... it's not a drop. Would he trade his hand for Attolia? Well, no. But he didn't know that those were the stakes. The gods did, and so they made the decisions for him, because thhey knew that this was best. It FELT like being dropped, but... at the risk of being cliched, it was "all for the best."

Seriously, that quote about being dropped or not got me through some sketchy times last year - I felt so abandoned and confused and afraid that I'd been abandoned, and I put a sticky note with that quote on my desk to remind myself that what feels like abandonment is never, ever complete abandonment.

And then, of course, sometimes God just tells me to shut up and go to bed. :-)

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

I love that scene. It just sums up Gen's beliefs and thoughts on death and the afterlife and the gods so well. And maybe how the gods look at him too. ^o^

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

You're right, they didn't just let things happen, they guided them.

But but but...

Moira says to Nahuseresh something like "I don't ask that you believe me, only that you hear my words." She didn't *make* him believe or act on her information about where the queen had been taken.

I guess I just feel squeamish at the thought of the gods forcing any of them to do what the gods want. Obviously, they're involved in it big time and set events in motion, knowing what the people are likely to do. But Gen, at least, seems to think he has free will and can act as he sees fit, not as some god directs.

[in-my-niteshirt.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly -- there is no instant healing. I love the scene in KoA when Gen shreds everything in his room. He has had plenty of time to adjust to his loss, but he still has moments when he just rages. And then he doesn't want poor Irene to know, which is so sweet. That scene is so poignant (good word!)

[in-my-niteshirt.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your comment! Now that's my new favorite quote. (Yeah, yeah, I keep changing my mind.... there are too many good ones to choose from.)

"And then, of course, sometimes God just tells me to shut up and go to bed."
So funny and so true!

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

it was "all for the best." (http://www.deezer.com/track/778136)

And lyrics here (http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/It%27s-for-the-Best-lyrics-Straylight-Run/96E58B78564A83C348256D99000D21F7).

:D

[chachic.livejournal.com]

I agree that the final decisions are still made by the humans. One of my favorite quotes in the books is "If I am a pawn of the gods, it is because they know me so well, not because they make up my mind for me."

[dihong.livejournal.com]

I agree. A lot of religions offer comfort in the thought that there is a purpose, or a balance, or some sort of justification in all pain. QoA tells us that to save Attolia from the Medes (and by extension, the independence of multiple nations), a sacrifice had to be made. Irene was such a cold, cold person at that point-- and getting scarier by the moment-- that I really do buy the premise that it took this vicious and personal act to spark pity and other human emotions in her.

[peggy-2.livejournal.com]

nice.

I hadn't really listened (and read) the actual lyrics before.

thanks for the links.

:-)

[tiegirl.livejournal.com]

I'm not nearly as eloquent as everyone else but the way I can relate is:
Someone asked me in college if I regretted some things from my childhood, ways that I was brought up, and some events that shaped me. I had to admit that since everything that happened to me had brought me to this point, and since this point was acceptable, then how could I regret anything? Everything that happens in your past brings you to the present. The trick is to be happy with the present. That takes work, but it's worth it. Gen knows the trick, and is working through it, I think.

Coming late to the party

[tearoha.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Eddis believes that the gods can direct events through her because they know her so well, not because they are manipulating her directly. She has the choice to ignore the nudges she gets, just as Irene could have refused Gen, or killed him, or any one of a thousand other different scenarios. I don't think the gods knew that this scenario would play out the way it has; rather, I think they knew it could, and that this was the best way to save Eddis and Attolia, but not the only way. I like to think that as gods, they can see how things may pan out, but not how they will. It seems to me that the point of Eddis' little talk on how the gods don't direct her made it pretty plain that free will is definitely a tenet of their deities. They will interfere, and make things possible or more likely, but will not force.
Sorry if I'm repeating stuff, just trying to think it through.

And in_my_niteshirt, yes, I think the characters' suffering in QoA and the other bnooks too is a big part of what makes them as good as they are - because it's something everyone can relate to on some level.
This is a great discussion, how did I miss it? *whines* Thank you for bringing it up (echoing Jade here) everyone's thoughts are amazing.

Re: Coming late to the party

[charlotteslibrary.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)]

In much the same way that Gen manipulates people because he knows them so well...

[diadactic.livejournal.com]

I noticed it. It works as a plot device. This is one way in which I really would not idealize Gen or his world. Disability does not have to find an ultimate purpose from the cosmos. Disability is a purpose in and of itself.