Recent complaints filed in the courts of Fangirl-de-villa have brought to our attention that your name is a point of contention amongst our members. It appears that your unfortunate Greek name has repeatedly interfered with internet searches concerning our idol and beloved fictional boyfriend, Eugenides, king of Attolia.
Unfortunately, the object of our affection has no last name with which to distinguish himself from you. And technically, he doesn't have a first name, either. This, sadly, appears to be quite common in his family, as his parents also go nameless.
On this marked day, we respectfully request that you legally change your last name to something less inconvenient, and never allow it to be uttered on the internet again.
Thank you for your immediate attention in addressing this problem.
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Date: 10/14/11 10:43 pm (UTC)Dear Mr. Jeffery Eugenides,
Recent complaints filed in the courts of Fangirl-de-villa have brought to our attention that your name is a point of contention amongst our members. It appears that your unfortunate Greek name has repeatedly interfered with internet searches concerning our idol and beloved fictional boyfriend, Eugenides, king of Attolia.
Unfortunately, the object of our affection has no last name with which to distinguish himself from you. And technically, he doesn't have a first name, either. This, sadly, appears to be quite common in his family, as his parents also go nameless.
On this marked day, we respectfully request that you legally change your last name to something less inconvenient, and never allow it to be uttered on the internet again.
Thank you for your immediate attention in addressing this problem.
Sincerely,
Fangirl-de-villa, AKA the Reprobates