I blame it all on Checkers.
Mar. 11th, 2010 12:12 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
aged-crone.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
queensthiefCheckers said that there has been a serious lack of crack in Sounis lately, and suggested that I post a bit from Chatzy. It all started as a Serious Literary Discussion, and went downhill from there.
Since I can't get my computer to copy things properly from Chatzy, with color and all that there, I'll adapt this a bit.
aged_crone:
While pacing, I was thinking: suppose Eddis and Attolia had been negotiating a peace treaty that did not involve Gen's kidnapping the queen. Neither has any brothers, clearly, and I don't think Attolia has even any close cousins (am I remembering that correctly)? What marriage might they have suggested to seal the alliance? Would Gen even have been on the list?
Imaginary scene: "Attolia will be marrying _____." Gen: "Wanna bet?"
thelasteddis:
Attolia does have a cousin - Eddis' ministers wanted Eddis to marry him when it seemed like the only other option was Sounis. Then Sophos showed up.
But an Eddisian to marry Attolia? possibly one of Eddis' cousins, some of whom were close enough to be called princes (i.e. Aulus). If we leave behind both him being in love with Attolia and that Attolia cut off his hand, Eugenides was a wonderful choice, excepting his value as the Thief.
aged_crone:
I forgot about Attolia's cousin. I wonder if he's plotting in the background hoping to inherit the throne?
aged_crone:
What made me think of it was remembering Gen's telling Attolia that he could dress in black and powder his hair grey and she could pretend she had married his father. I wonder if that would have been a suggestion?
aged_crone:
Well, but leaving aside Gen's being in love wither her and the lopped-off hand and his value as Thief - would he even have been suggested, since he's so much younger than she is that her attendants consider it an insult that she's having to marry him in QoA?
thelasteddis:
I doubt MoW would have been in the running - he's pretty old, isn't he? Plus I expect that, given that he organized the war against her, he wouldn't be popular in Attolia's court. Eugenides had so much training in stealth, objectively he would be a powerful politician to have in Attolia.
aged_crone:
I don't gather that the MoW is actually doddering, and he might have been considered a good choice - very high-ranking (a king's son, after all) and respectable (unlike Gen) and presumably pretty good at managing things, too.
And, after all, Gen was involved in the war against Attolia, along with presumably most of the rest of the royal males.
thelasteddis:
Well yes, but he wasn't organizing it. MoW's whole JOB was destroying Attolia.
aged_crone:
Apropos of nothing: Did you see the video ad on the Greenwillow site? Is that Sophos' extremely muscular back we are seeing? Oh, my.
thelasteddis:
I saw it, but I'm trying to forget - Elle said something it mentioned was spoilerific. Trying to remain unspoiled.
But I do love muscular backs........
checkers:
Well, I just went and watched it again, and it's a very nice muscular back.
I'm sitting on my porch! It's 62 degrees and sunny and the birds are singing!
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
Oh, it's raining over here, but I still like it. It's better than the snow, and it has a march-marsh feel to it.
:Oo muscular backs <3
I can't wait till it gets even better.. ABBS! (one day! I'm counting on Greenwillow)
Leslie: that's a really good question! It also makes me think that if Gen didn't love Attolia+hand cutting off incident, perhaps she would marry someone powerful but not Gen. Because if he didn't love her, he would give up all that he hoped for (being Thief of Eddis) for her...or maybe he would, but not for her, for Eddis (the country).
aged_crone:
Or even without the hand-cutting-off incident, and without the war that followed; I think they still would have needed some kind of treaty.
I just can't see either of the Giant Eddisian Nannies married to Attolia. Perhaps she has a weakness for biceps, and would have chosen Stenides.
aged_crone:
From biceps we return to the back. The muscular back is attached to a head with short, dark hair, not long blond hair. Is it, perhaps, Gen rather than Sophos?
aged_crone:
*okay, the back is not attached directly to the head. There's a neck in between. And it isn't attached with dark hair; it's attached to the head, via the neck, and the head has dark hair on it.
Just in case anybody was confused.
checkers:
Huh?
aged_crone:
Smarty pants!
checkers:
Don't you think Attolia would have married only someone she could intimidate and run roughshod over, so as to keep her sovereignty?
checkers:
Which would rule out Aulus, whom I can't see allowing anyone to tell him what to do.
aged_crone:
Well, except that Eddis might not have offered someone Attolia could run roughshod over. If they really needed a marriage alliance (which, strictly speaking, they didn't, according to Eddis in QoA), that would be one of the things they'd bargain over.
Attolia: I want a doormat, please. Someone I can wipe my shoes on.
Eddis: Instead, I shall offer you this stiff-necked, stubborn, unyielding person.
Attolia: No, no, that I cannot - whoa. Who's that with the biceps?
Eddis: That is Stenides. Also, he makes clocks.
Attolia: Well, kewl, we could use some clocks in my palace. Is he available?
thelasteddis:
Hello, and welcome to The Bacheloress: Attolia Style! I'm Eddis, your host, and I'll be introducing you to these handsome and available fellows!
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
lololol
I can see Attolia telling Aulus what to do, I just can't see him caring.
Introducing the first bachelor!First bachelor: Aulus!!!
First date
Attolia: ...And if you don't I'll hang you from your toenails on the far side of that hill you call a mountain
Aulus: Hmm. Mind passing the goat cheese, dear?
checkers:
I am really enjoying this, though I have nothing to add. Tell me more, dears. What would Stenides say to all this?
aged_crone:
Eddis: Well, Stenides may not be available. What about his brother?
Attolia: Who's his brother?
Eddis: My Thief.
Attolia: What, the annoying kid who keeps slipping in an out of my palace - not to mention my bedchamber, and hasn't anybody taught him a sense of propriety?
Eddis: Not really, no.
Attolia: I'll give him this, though: Great taste in earrings. Beautiful hands, too.
thelasteddis:
Eddis: if he's spending so much time in your bedchamber, how can you possibly object to marrying him? Attolia, *lays hand softly on Attolia's shoulder* are you having commitment problems?
aged_crone:
Eddis: Get a grip. He's far too old for me.
thelasteddis:
Yes, Eddis prefers younger men.
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
Gen: I'm perfectly old enough to do whatever I like! Thankyour highnesses very much!
Eddis: Eugenides, please. You have no idea what we're talking about
Boagus: *shoves* besides I'm next
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
first date
Attolia:..what are you wearing?
Boagus: I though Attolians liked goat skinned coats..
Attolia: *is not amused*
-laughing-
Boagus: *curses a certain thief*
thelasteddis:
Eddis: Next up, Cleon!
Attolia: Now Cleon, if you were King of Attolia, how would you deal with the political problems at hand?
Cleon: ...
Attolia: Excuse me?
Cleon: I carry a mean message, your majesty. Would that help?
Attolia: *facepalm*
aged_crone:
Cleon: Would it help if I told you I'm happy to hold Eugenides head-down in a water cache?
thelasteddis:
Attolia: OMG YES PLEASE.
Eugenides: *runs away*
Cleon: GET BACK HERE YOU MANGY....!
Attolia: GO CLEON!!!!
Eddis: The Bacheloress: Attolia Style will be back after these short messages.
philia:
Thanks for the late night entertainment, y'all!
Te Aroha:
Y'all crack me up. Again :D
Joking aside though (just for a moment!) I don't see Attolia agreeing to a marriage treaty or even a marriage without Gen and the hand thing. You know when you're offered a really unpalatable option, and you say "I'd rather die than X"? Well, Attolia was offered a choice between getting married + handing over some of her sovereignty, and death, and she looked *this close* to choosing the boat hook.
That's one hard-to-please Bachelorette.
aged_crone:
True, but the choice she was being offered was Gen or death, and at that point she was a)wallowing in guilt, and b)furious at being outmaneuvered, and c)deep in denial about how she felt about Gen. She might have been a leeetle more flexible if this had been simple negotiations...
tiegirl:
I like this show. No roses.
A question, though: Will the rejected bachelors next have their own show?
thelasteddis:
CAN I COMPETE IN STENIDES' "BACHELOR"?????
tiegirl:
Costis is a bachelor....
tiegirl commits heresy
tiegirl: *sorry Jade
tiegirl still has problems recognizing that marriage...
tiegirl from x.x.x.165 left the chat 19 hours ago
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
signs up for The Bachelor Stenides Style
PREVIEW FOR NEXT WEEK'S BACHELORETTE ATTOLIA STYLE!
port boy: Queen Eddis..there seem to be some last minute sign ups for the show..
Queen Eddis: Well let them in
Sounis: *enters*
Queen Eddis: You're here for Attolia?
Sounis: No, I WANT YOUR MOUNTAIN LAND GOAT QUEEN!..I mean..ahem, I want your love, dear Queen.
Queen Eddis: This isn't my show. I'm not the bachelorette, Attolia is, so you get a date with her! haha! Suffer!!!!
thelasteddis:
First date:
Attolia: I HATE YOU.
Sounis: I HATE YOU MORE.
Attolia: WAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounis: WE ARE [strike]SPARTA[/strike] SOUNIS!!!!!!!
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
Eddis: someone please remove that fork from Sounis's eye
Attolia: He was suppose to duck.
Sounis leaves the show with a brand-spanking-new declaration of war! aaand an eye patch!!
aged_crone:
No, no, Gen is the only one who seems able to drive Attolia into losing her temper and her self-control.
I think she would have been a lot more icy at Sounis. Terrifying him, in fact. So that he slunk back to Sounis-the-country.
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
this is true...perhaps she was just practicing her aim then?
thelasteddis:
Gen was behind him.
drashizu:
I think Dite would be pretty quick to get in on this action. I, however, am not comedic.
*submits Dite for Bachloress*
aged_crone:
Enter a mass of screaming teenaged groupies...
aged_crone:
Groupies, severally: He's so *gorgeous*! Look at his hair! I love his voice! His songs just make me *melt*! Oooooh, he's looking at us. Golly, his eyes! They're dreamy!
Since I can't get my computer to copy things properly from Chatzy, with color and all that there, I'll adapt this a bit.
aged_crone:
While pacing, I was thinking: suppose Eddis and Attolia had been negotiating a peace treaty that did not involve Gen's kidnapping the queen. Neither has any brothers, clearly, and I don't think Attolia has even any close cousins (am I remembering that correctly)? What marriage might they have suggested to seal the alliance? Would Gen even have been on the list?
Imaginary scene: "Attolia will be marrying _____." Gen: "Wanna bet?"
thelasteddis:
Attolia does have a cousin - Eddis' ministers wanted Eddis to marry him when it seemed like the only other option was Sounis. Then Sophos showed up.
But an Eddisian to marry Attolia? possibly one of Eddis' cousins, some of whom were close enough to be called princes (i.e. Aulus). If we leave behind both him being in love with Attolia and that Attolia cut off his hand, Eugenides was a wonderful choice, excepting his value as the Thief.
aged_crone:
I forgot about Attolia's cousin. I wonder if he's plotting in the background hoping to inherit the throne?
aged_crone:
What made me think of it was remembering Gen's telling Attolia that he could dress in black and powder his hair grey and she could pretend she had married his father. I wonder if that would have been a suggestion?
aged_crone:
Well, but leaving aside Gen's being in love wither her and the lopped-off hand and his value as Thief - would he even have been suggested, since he's so much younger than she is that her attendants consider it an insult that she's having to marry him in QoA?
thelasteddis:
I doubt MoW would have been in the running - he's pretty old, isn't he? Plus I expect that, given that he organized the war against her, he wouldn't be popular in Attolia's court. Eugenides had so much training in stealth, objectively he would be a powerful politician to have in Attolia.
aged_crone:
I don't gather that the MoW is actually doddering, and he might have been considered a good choice - very high-ranking (a king's son, after all) and respectable (unlike Gen) and presumably pretty good at managing things, too.
And, after all, Gen was involved in the war against Attolia, along with presumably most of the rest of the royal males.
thelasteddis:
Well yes, but he wasn't organizing it. MoW's whole JOB was destroying Attolia.
aged_crone:
Apropos of nothing: Did you see the video ad on the Greenwillow site? Is that Sophos' extremely muscular back we are seeing? Oh, my.
thelasteddis:
I saw it, but I'm trying to forget - Elle said something it mentioned was spoilerific. Trying to remain unspoiled.
But I do love muscular backs........
checkers:
Well, I just went and watched it again, and it's a very nice muscular back.
I'm sitting on my porch! It's 62 degrees and sunny and the birds are singing!
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
Oh, it's raining over here, but I still like it. It's better than the snow, and it has a march-marsh feel to it.
:Oo muscular backs <3
I can't wait till it gets even better.. ABBS! (one day! I'm counting on Greenwillow)
Leslie: that's a really good question! It also makes me think that if Gen didn't love Attolia+hand cutting off incident, perhaps she would marry someone powerful but not Gen. Because if he didn't love her, he would give up all that he hoped for (being Thief of Eddis) for her...or maybe he would, but not for her, for Eddis (the country).
aged_crone:
Or even without the hand-cutting-off incident, and without the war that followed; I think they still would have needed some kind of treaty.
I just can't see either of the Giant Eddisian Nannies married to Attolia. Perhaps she has a weakness for biceps, and would have chosen Stenides.
aged_crone:
From biceps we return to the back. The muscular back is attached to a head with short, dark hair, not long blond hair. Is it, perhaps, Gen rather than Sophos?
aged_crone:
*okay, the back is not attached directly to the head. There's a neck in between. And it isn't attached with dark hair; it's attached to the head, via the neck, and the head has dark hair on it.
Just in case anybody was confused.
checkers:
Huh?
aged_crone:
Smarty pants!
checkers:
Don't you think Attolia would have married only someone she could intimidate and run roughshod over, so as to keep her sovereignty?
checkers:
Which would rule out Aulus, whom I can't see allowing anyone to tell him what to do.
aged_crone:
Well, except that Eddis might not have offered someone Attolia could run roughshod over. If they really needed a marriage alliance (which, strictly speaking, they didn't, according to Eddis in QoA), that would be one of the things they'd bargain over.
Attolia: I want a doormat, please. Someone I can wipe my shoes on.
Eddis: Instead, I shall offer you this stiff-necked, stubborn, unyielding person.
Attolia: No, no, that I cannot - whoa. Who's that with the biceps?
Eddis: That is Stenides. Also, he makes clocks.
Attolia: Well, kewl, we could use some clocks in my palace. Is he available?
thelasteddis:
Hello, and welcome to The Bacheloress: Attolia Style! I'm Eddis, your host, and I'll be introducing you to these handsome and available fellows!
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
lololol
I can see Attolia telling Aulus what to do, I just can't see him caring.
Introducing the first bachelor!First bachelor: Aulus!!!
First date
Attolia: ...And if you don't I'll hang you from your toenails on the far side of that hill you call a mountain
Aulus: Hmm. Mind passing the goat cheese, dear?
checkers:
I am really enjoying this, though I have nothing to add. Tell me more, dears. What would Stenides say to all this?
aged_crone:
Eddis: Well, Stenides may not be available. What about his brother?
Attolia: Who's his brother?
Eddis: My Thief.
Attolia: What, the annoying kid who keeps slipping in an out of my palace - not to mention my bedchamber, and hasn't anybody taught him a sense of propriety?
Eddis: Not really, no.
Attolia: I'll give him this, though: Great taste in earrings. Beautiful hands, too.
thelasteddis:
Eddis: if he's spending so much time in your bedchamber, how can you possibly object to marrying him? Attolia, *lays hand softly on Attolia's shoulder* are you having commitment problems?
aged_crone:
Eddis: Get a grip. He's far too old for me.
thelasteddis:
Yes, Eddis prefers younger men.
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
Gen: I'm perfectly old enough to do whatever I like! Thankyour highnesses very much!
Eddis: Eugenides, please. You have no idea what we're talking about
Boagus: *shoves* besides I'm next
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
first date
Attolia:..what are you wearing?
Boagus: I though Attolians liked goat skinned coats..
Attolia: *is not amused*
-laughing-
Boagus: *curses a certain thief*
thelasteddis:
Eddis: Next up, Cleon!
Attolia: Now Cleon, if you were King of Attolia, how would you deal with the political problems at hand?
Cleon: ...
Attolia: Excuse me?
Cleon: I carry a mean message, your majesty. Would that help?
Attolia: *facepalm*
aged_crone:
Cleon: Would it help if I told you I'm happy to hold Eugenides head-down in a water cache?
thelasteddis:
Attolia: OMG YES PLEASE.
Eugenides: *runs away*
Cleon: GET BACK HERE YOU MANGY....!
Attolia: GO CLEON!!!!
Eddis: The Bacheloress: Attolia Style will be back after these short messages.
philia:
Thanks for the late night entertainment, y'all!
Te Aroha:
Y'all crack me up. Again :D
Joking aside though (just for a moment!) I don't see Attolia agreeing to a marriage treaty or even a marriage without Gen and the hand thing. You know when you're offered a really unpalatable option, and you say "I'd rather die than X"? Well, Attolia was offered a choice between getting married + handing over some of her sovereignty, and death, and she looked *this close* to choosing the boat hook.
That's one hard-to-please Bachelorette.
aged_crone:
True, but the choice she was being offered was Gen or death, and at that point she was a)wallowing in guilt, and b)furious at being outmaneuvered, and c)deep in denial about how she felt about Gen. She might have been a leeetle more flexible if this had been simple negotiations...
tiegirl:
I like this show. No roses.
A question, though: Will the rejected bachelors next have their own show?
thelasteddis:
CAN I COMPETE IN STENIDES' "BACHELOR"?????
tiegirl:
Costis is a bachelor....
tiegirl commits heresy
tiegirl: *sorry Jade
tiegirl still has problems recognizing that marriage...
tiegirl from x.x.x.165 left the chat 19 hours ago
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
signs up for The Bachelor Stenides Style
PREVIEW FOR NEXT WEEK'S BACHELORETTE ATTOLIA STYLE!
port boy: Queen Eddis..there seem to be some last minute sign ups for the show..
Queen Eddis: Well let them in
Sounis: *enters*
Queen Eddis: You're here for Attolia?
Sounis: No, I WANT YOUR MOUNTAIN LAND GOAT QUEEN!..I mean..ahem, I want your love, dear Queen.
Queen Eddis: This isn't my show. I'm not the bachelorette, Attolia is, so you get a date with her! haha! Suffer!!!!
thelasteddis:
First date:
Attolia: I HATE YOU.
Sounis: I HATE YOU MORE.
Attolia: WAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounis: WE ARE [strike]SPARTA[/strike] SOUNIS!!!!!!!
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
Eddis: someone please remove that fork from Sounis's eye
Attolia: He was suppose to duck.
Sounis leaves the show with a brand-spanking-new declaration of war! aaand an eye patch!!
aged_crone:
No, no, Gen is the only one who seems able to drive Attolia into losing her temper and her self-control.
I think she would have been a lot more icy at Sounis. Terrifying him, in fact. So that he slunk back to Sounis-the-country.
elle_thegreendragon_winters:
this is true...perhaps she was just practicing her aim then?
thelasteddis:
Gen was behind him.
drashizu:
I think Dite would be pretty quick to get in on this action. I, however, am not comedic.
*submits Dite for Bachloress*
aged_crone:
Enter a mass of screaming teenaged groupies...
aged_crone:
Groupies, severally: He's so *gorgeous*! Look at his hair! I love his voice! His songs just make me *melt*! Oooooh, he's looking at us. Golly, his eyes! They're dreamy!
no subject
Date: 3/11/10 12:19 am (UTC)Speaking of "crack" about these books, my friend and I have lots of crack Queen's Thief convos, and I'd love to share them, but they're, um, a little inappropriate. I don't know the ages of people on this site...even though I'm probably one of the youngest, I don't want to scar youngsters and I certainly don't want to be offensive to anyone.
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Date: 3/11/10 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/12/10 03:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/11/10 12:47 am (UTC)This is absolutely fantastic. I can just see Attolia on her throne, glaring out at the Contestants, saying, "No, not this one. Teleus, take #1 and hang him from the battlements. HIs face offends me."
BEST COMPETITION EVER.
no subject
Date: 3/11/10 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/11/10 01:13 am (UTC)I Am Wanting To Chortle?
In Accordance With Thomas Cromwell?
Immense Ants With Tiny Claws?
no subject
Date: 3/11/10 01:35 am (UTC)Could be: any of these
Is supposed to mean: I agree with this comment
Do you listen to NPR? They described an experiment done to prove ants actually count their steps. Apparently they (in effect) cut off one group of ants' legs off at the knees, and glued stilts onto the second groups' legs. Then they took each group exactly the same distance from the home nest. And of course they had a control group. The control group walked back to the nest. The stilted group walked past the nest. The stunted group stopped before the nest. Supposedly proving that they were counting their steps to get home.
I think this is a really elegant experiment, if you're not an ant. Getting your legs cut off. Or stilts glued on your body parts. Other than that, it's cool.
That was random but the Immense Ants With Tiny Claws made me think of it. And when I told people at work about this experiment noone was excited or impressed. And they are science-y type people! So now I felt I must share this on Sounis, cuz that's how I do. :P
no subject
Date: 3/11/10 01:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/11/10 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/11/10 01:55 am (UTC)(Maybe when they cut off their legs they gave them little hooks with knife edges?)
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Date: 3/11/10 02:03 am (UTC)I'm pretty sure they made grad students do the chop-chop and the glueing.
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Date: 3/12/10 01:08 am (UTC)XD hahaha, poor guy..
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Date: 3/11/10 01:49 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 3/11/10 01:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/11/10 02:21 am (UTC)Hey, that makes me a Annux, right?
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Date: 3/12/10 01:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/12/10 01:15 am (UTC)I guess I'd rather be a Hobbit than Gollum, right?
preciousssssno subject
Date: 3/12/10 01:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/12/10 01:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/11/10 02:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/11/10 02:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/11/10 02:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/12/10 01:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/11/10 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/11/10 03:26 am (UTC)Also, I thought it would be kind of ironically sardonically funny to have her comment on how beautiful his hands are (remember, in our scenario they're both still present).
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Date: 3/12/10 01:07 am (UTC)Although she would have probably mentioned his chin, too.
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Date: 3/11/10 04:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/11/10 10:09 am (UTC)*unleashes the dancing bears*
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Date: 3/12/10 01:28 am (UTC)hahaha, =]
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Date: 3/11/10 12:01 pm (UTC)Aaaaaand that was when I lost it.
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Date: 3/12/10 03:20 am (UTC)Thanks for posting the craziness, Leslie!!
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Date: 3/12/10 01:06 am (UTC)Thanks for it all, you guyses. Now the crack lack is definitely rectified. (Although TA's write up of the last readaloud thing had me laughing really hard. Of course, I was at home and sick and hysterical, and reading it was the farthest I could voyage into Computerland for a few days, so nearly every sentence reduced me to gulping and giggling pitifully.)
*Suggests Ornon as a contestant, although maybe he needs a little more time to get over his Sheep Loss*
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Date: 3/12/10 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 3/13/10 07:48 am (UTC)Heh, talk about crack.
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Date: 3/13/10 07:49 am (UTC)Hooked, you say?!
Date: 3/13/10 08:49 pm (UTC)