Goats Feet and Other Delicacies, Part 2

[thief-alchemist.livejournal.com]

EUGENIDES :

Indeed.

 

Irene :

I feel tempted to throw an inkpot at you.

 

EUGENIDES :

Hey, that's my job!

 

Irene :

You should go off with your wanna-be mistress

 

EUGENIDES :

Costis?

 

Irene :

Ahah

No.

He's mine.

 

EUGENIDES :

I suppose Aris is more my type anyway.

 

Irene :

You can have him.

 

EUGENIDES :

Costis' sense of honour as wide as a river might accidentally drown me.

 

Irene :

I bags Dite.

 

EUGENIDES :

He's had a major crush on you for ages. That's boring...

And you can't two time Costis.

I'll tell.

>: )

 

Irene :

And?

Costis loves his queen,

And Dite also loves his queen.

I see nothing wrong with this.

 

EUGENIDES :

I will announce at dinner there is to be an orgy in the Queen's rooms.

And then purchase a ticket to Ferria.

Or maybe Eddis.

She's nice, at least.

 

Irene :

Go home goat foot.

 

EUGENIDES :

I am crushed.

 

Irene :

*Flushing at being called cruel*

 

Amputation time.

 

EUGENIDES :

D:

D:

D:

 

I don't flush much, I'm always seeming to be deathly pale or bruised.

 

Irene :

I think I should get the dogs out.

 

EUGENIDES :

Nooooooo.

Not that again.

Although watching poor Costis dump that baron on his backside was fun...

 

Irene :

They’ll cheer *cough*tear*cough* you up.

 

EUGENIDES :

Just like the sand in my food and the snakes in my bed?

 

Irene :

And being reduced to poisoning yourself.

 

EUGENIDES :

That too.

Have I missed anything else?

 

Irene :

Being stabbed with pins.

 

EUGENIDES :

Hmmmm.

Which reminds me…

Your damned Petrus...

I thought Galen was bad enough...

 

Irene  :

Be quiet and let the man do his work.

 

EUGENIDES :

It. Is. Too. deep!

 

Irene :

I'm taking Ornon as a secondary favourite.

 

EUGENIDES :

Hah.

His sheep.

I had absolutely nothing to do with their disappearance.

 

Irene :

Do you still bark like a sheep dog?

 

EUGENIDES :

Of course not!

At least, not when anyone can hear me...

 

EUGENIDES :

I am very good at…

 

... making animal noises.

 

(She starts talking about how I should meet her friend….)

 

A battle to the death is a good way to meet people. I could meet this friend of yours there…

 

I hope he isn't as ferocious as Telius about the proper treatment of practice weapons.

 

EUGENIDES :

Remind him not to drop his point in third, would you?

I might accidentally hit him in the face like Costis.

But then, Costis deserved it, he hit me first.

 

Irene :

*I'm giving you the look*

*You know the one I'm talking about*

 

EUGENIDES :

What?

I am innocent!

 

Irene :

*It's THE look*

 

Don't even think about bleating.

 

EUGENIDES :

I wouldn't dreae-e-e-eam of it.

 

Irene  :

*Raises eyebrow*

 

*Just the one*

 

EUGENIDES :

*Copies*

 

Eddis is amused

Sophos is facepalming.

Attolia is awesome

Ornon is looking for his sheep.

Nahuserfish is oiling his beard.

Dite is singing about the queen's wedding night.

Costis is dodging falling roof tiles.

Sejanus is annoying.

Eugenides is thinking of what next to steal, because as we all know he can steal anything he wants'

 

EUGENIDES :

I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT!

 

Baron Erondites is ruined.

   Relius is pining over Attolia.

The magus is comforting Relius.

Teleus is getting taught a lesson in humility (with thanks to the king).

But Telius can make taking a lesson in humility look badass.

 

Irene  :

And now I take my leave of you, my dear.

 

I shall nurture this single drop and hope it stirs growth in the emptiness of my heart.

 

EUGENIDES :

Goodbye, O wise and powerful leader. Who is very nice and will not have me granched.

 

Irene :

 

That what you think…

 

EUGENIDES :

D:

 

 

The End.