(no subject)

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

I have been ordered to share my crack attempts at roleplay. Well, and viviolo contributed quite a bit too. It may seem to be mocking, but know that we mean it in the most loving manner. You should probably have some knowledge of Twilight to get the full gist of it (although it's not required). Enough to make sense of Growing Up Cullen (http://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/462027.html). Or not. Up to you!

(careful, some NSFW language and themes and all that)

zumie_ashlen: omg, you know what I just realized? HE IS EDWARD DONE RIGHT
viviolo: IIIAEGILYU:HOJWDF
zumie_ashlen: he sneaks into her room to watch her sleep/give her stuff
viviolo: OMG
viviolo: OMG YOU HAVE SOLVED IT
zumie_ashlen: and he's like I LOVE HER AND DREAM ABOUT HER EVERY NIGHT
viviolo: YOU HAVE SOLVED
zumie_ashlen: and eddis is all I KNOW WE HEAR YOU SCREAMING DUDE
viviolo: THE UN-CULLEN VALLEY
zumie_ashlen: I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INTO S&M SHIT GEN
zumie_ashlen: IT'S NOT HEALTHY, SRSLY
viviolo: EDDIS I LOVE HER
zumie_ashlen: I COULD TOTES SET YOU UP WITH SOMEONE COOL
viviolo: AAAAA
zumie_ashlen: I MEAN, I GOT CONNECTIONS
zumie_ashlen: and his daddy is all YEAH, DON'T GO FOR THE HOMICIDAL CHICKS, SON
viviolo: AND HE'S LIKE, NO NO I GOT THIS
zumie_ashlen: IT WILL ONLY LEAD TO PAIN
viviolo: JUST WAIT GUYS
viviolo: I HAVE
viviolo: EARRINGS
zumie_ashlen: and then he's all like IRENE LET'S DO IT
zumie_ashlen: WE COULD ELOPE
zumie_ashlen: OR DO A BIG WEDDING, I DON'T CARE
viviolo: AND IRENE IS LIKE I WANT TO KILL YOU
viviolo: AND HAS HIM ARRESTED!!
zumie_ashlen: and he's like BUT BUT PUPPY LOVE!
zumie_ashlen: and she's like OMG YOU'RE LIKE A KID EW
zumie_ashlen: IT'S GROSS
zumie_ashlen: AND ALSO I CUT OFF YOUR HAND AND MADE YOU INTO CAPTAIN HOOK
zumie_ashlen: AND I DO NOT HAVE A PETER PAN FETISH
viviolo: I LIKE MY MEN
viviolo: WITH JAFAR BEARDS
zumie_ashlen: and he's like I COULD GROW ONE
zumie_ashlen: PLEASE LIKE YOU'VE GOT FACIAL HAIR
zumie_ashlen: I'm totally putting this in the review
viviolo: AND JAFAR IS ALL ROFLCOPTER FACIAL PUBES!111!!!!!
zumie_ashlen: AND HE TOTALLY PINES FOR HER LIKE EDWARD DOES
zumie_ashlen: AND SHE'S LIKE OMG HE'S IN MY HEEEAAAD
viviolo: AND HE'S LIKE DO YOU LIKE THE EARRINGS
zumie_ashlen: JUST LIKE BELLA
zumie_ashlen: AND SHE'S LIKE SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR DAMN JEWELRY
viviolo: AND SHE LIKE DOES PSYCHIC VOODOO
viviolo: LIKE, IMA BREAK YOUR ARM BUT I'LL ACCEPT THE EARRINGS
viviolo: BUT NO MORE OF THAT CULLEN SHIT, YOU GOT ME
zumie_ashlen: AND HE'S LIKE WHUT
zumie_ashlen: I MEAN NO SNEAKING IN TO WATCH ME SLEEP
zumie_ashlen: I'M NOT BELLA AND YOU'RE NOT EDWARD, OK
viviolo: BUT FIRST I GOTTA GO WIN THIS WARR
zumie_ashlen: AND HE'S LIKE BUT BUT BUT!
zumie_ashlen: AND SHE LEAVES HIM
viviolo: SO HIDE IN YOUR COT AND TRY NOT TO BE POISONED
zumie_ashlen: AND TOTALLY FORGETS ABOUT HIM
viviolo: I KNOWWWWWWWWW
viviolo: AND SHE'S LIKE
viviolo: FFFFFFFFFFF
zumie_ashlen: AND EDDIS IS LIKE UH WHERE'S MAH THEIF
zumie_ashlen: OH SHUT UP EDDIS YOU DON'T NOW MY PAAAAAIN I GREW UP ALL ALONE AND EMO AND DANCING BENEATH ORANGE TREES WHILE YOUR THIEF LEERED AT ME FROM ABOVE
zumie_ashlen: YOU GOT TO RIDE PONIES
zumie_ashlen: SO JUST STFU
viviolo: AND HE'S OKAY ANYWAY
viviolo: PROBABLY
zumie_ashlen: MAYBE
viviolo: LOOK I AM WEARING THE FUCKING EARRINGS
zumie_ashlen: AND HE'S LIKE FAKEDEATHLOL
viviolo: AND IRENE IS ALL, I WILL TAKE YOUR OTHER HAND, BITCH
zumie_ashlen: AND EDDIS IS LIKE UH I'LL LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE THEN
zumie_ashlen: FOR YOUR WHOLE S&M THING
viviolo: (JESUS WHY YOU TWO GOT TO HAVE FOREPLAY WITH ME IN THE ROOM JESUS)
zumie_ashlen: (USE A SAFE WORD, GEN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD)
zumie_ashlen: AND THEN HER ATTENDANTS ARE ALL WE HATE MEN DX
zumie_ashlen: ESPECIALLY YOOOUU
zumie_ashlen: BECAUSE WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH HER BITCHFITS WHEN YOU GET HER UPSET!
zumie_ashlen: AND HE'S ALL "LOL"
viviolo: I LAUGH IN YOUR COURTLY FACES
zumie_ashlen: BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I WILL LATER HINT HINT
viviolo: AND THEN FREAK THE FUCK OUT IN TEMPLES BECAUSE MIRA FFFFFFF
zumie_ashlen: YEAH BITCH YOU DO NOT TAKE MY NAME IN VAIN
zumie_ashlen: AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT
zumie_ashlen: OR IMA CUT YOU!
zumie_ashlen: OR BLIND YOU
viviolo: AND ATTOLIA IS LIKE UM NO DON'T KILL HIM
viviolo: HE'S KINDA ENTERTAINING
zumie_ashlen: I'LL EVEN BUILD A TEMPLE!
zumie_ashlen: FINE
zumie_ashlen: BUT YOU WATCH YOUR STEP FOO'
viviolo: AND GODAMMIT BE A KING
viviolo: DON'T DICK AROUND BEING ALL CULLEN PLZ
zumie_ashlen: AND THEN ATTOLIA'S LIKE OMG DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH GLASS COSTS AND WE HAVE NO MONEY BECAUSE OF THE WAR DO YOU EVER THINK BEFORE SUMMONING PO'ED GODDESSES GEN??!!
viviolo: AND HE'S LIKE WILL YOU FORGIVE ME IF I STALK YOU LATER TONIGHT
zumie_ashlen: JESUS GEN
zumie_ashlen: WOULD YOU STOP
viviolo: FINE
viviolo: BUT THE EARRINGS BETTER BE FUCKING DIAMONDS THIS TIME
zumie_ashlen: I WUV YOU SNOOKYPANTS
viviolo: STFU
zumie_ashlen: THE END.

And of course, I had to write another one about King.

Gen: I LOVE ROOFS!
Costis: …sir, please come down.
Gen: I’M NOT DRUNK! I CAN DANCE ON ONE HAND.
Costis: YOUR MAJESTY, YOU’RE GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK.
Gen: I HAVE PERFECT BALANCE! *falls*
Eugenides: OH MY HEAD, IT IS AFTER MIDNIGHT AND I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND BUG ALL THE OTHER GODS. WOULD YOU PLEASE GO TO SLEEP NOW GEN? *tosses Gen to Costis*
Gen: …’kay.
Costis: Could you please keep your gods nice and incorporeal like they’re supposed to be?
Gen: WHERE’S THE FUN IN THAT?

Meanwhile, he and the Queen become closer.

Attolia: WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS DANCING WITH THAT GIRL?
Gen: SHE HAS PRETTY EARRINGS, DARLING, I SWEAR THAT’S ALL.
Attolia: DO YOU HAVE AN EARRING FETISH OR SOMETHING? SERIOUSLY, GEN. IF YOU NEED ME TO, I’LL PUNCH SOME HOLES IN YOUR HEAD SO YOU CAN WEAR THEM.

Can you imagine them planning the wedding?

Gen: SO I WAS THINKING MAYBE LILACS FOR THE CENTERPIECE. IT WOULD BE LOVELY WITH THE CREAM MARBLE. OH HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE REALLY GOOD? WE COULD HAVE ORANGES AS THE FOOD CENTERPIECE! WOULDN’T THAT BE TOTALLY SWEET, HONEY? YOU KNOW, SINCE I STALKED YOU IN THAT ORANGE TREE GROVE ONCE AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED HOW PRETTY YOU WERE?
Attolia: I’M BUSY PLANNING ASSASSINATIONS YOU IDIOT. STFU AND GET OUT.
Gen: YEAH… HEY, ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR THOSE EARRINGS FOR THE WEDDING? OR SHOULD I GET YOU SOME MORE? I’M GOING TO GET YOU DIFFERENT ONES. THE RED IS NICE FOR YOU, BUT YOU NEED SOMETHING SOFTER FOR—
Attolia: IF YOU DON’T LEAVE IN THE NEXT TWO SECONDS I AM GOING TO FLOG YOU..

More ideas as they come to me. :)

Comments

[loquaciousquark.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHA I LOVE IIIIIT GEN REALLY IS EDDIE DONE RIGHT

UN-CULLEN VALLEY IS ~*~GENIUS~*~

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

I totally didn't get it when she said it. I is dumb. :B

Think I should change the formatting on the first convo to make it easier to read?

[loquaciousquark.livejournal.com]

Nah, I think it's good. :)

[beatlelove927.livejournal.com]

~icon love~

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

Growing Up Cullen icon!

Man, I love that parody. <3

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

WHY CAN'T WE HAVE COOL CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS?

OH RIGHT 'CAUSE YOU'RE DUMB.

[zeonn.livejournal.com]

Hahaha!! That was completely hillarious.
I WUV YOU SNOOKYPANTS
*dies of laughter*

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

I can't shake the feeling that he has a million pet nicknames for her, each more embarrassing than the last.

[tearoha.livejournal.com]

zumie_ashlen: AND THEN ATTOLIA'S LIKE OMG DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH GLASS COSTS AND WE HAVE NO MONEY BECAUSE OF THE WAR DO YOU EVER THINK BEFORE SUMMONING PO'ED GODDESSES GEN??!!

LOL.

LOL to the whole thing. I am dying of laughter here, but for some reason this line is my favourite.

How to de-lurk in spectacular fashion: See zumie_ashlen.
Welcome!

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

*blush* Thank you very much! I'm afraid I'm not a lurker though--I only read the Attolia books very recently.

[kulai-raito.livejournal.com]

hahahahahadsfsdfsdjlfjsdfjslj dies of laughter and faints** i have read the Attolia one before and their were a couple of lines I really liked! YES! I really like the Edward done right line!

can't wait for more.!!

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

I was afraid no one would get it! I'm always running into people who don't know what Twilight is. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

[kulai-raito.livejournal.com]

ppl don't know what twilight is??!!! and here i thought they were making wayyy too much of a fuss about it cause everyone i know knows all about it! hum And i don't think you need to worry about that here for sure!

[kitsune-rains.livejournal.com]

OH SHUT UP EDDIS YOU DON'T NOW MY PAAAAAIN I GREW UP ALL ALONE AND EMO AND DANCING BENEATH ORANGE TREES WHILE YOUR THIEF LEERED AT ME FROM ABOVE
YOU GOT TO RIDE PONIES

That is so what she was thinking.

And "UM NO DON'T KILL HIM HE'S KINDA ENTERTAINING" is now my favorite thing to say.
XP
Thanks for all the awesome.

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

:3 You're welcome!

[ladymoon-kora.livejournal.com]

Oh My God, I loved it!!!! This was one of the funniest thing I've ever read.

zumie_ashlen: AND ALSO I CUT OFF YOUR HAND AND MADE YOU INTO CAPTAIN HOOK
zumie_ashlen: AND I DO NOT HAVE A PETER PAN FETISH
viviolo: I LIKE MY MEN
viviolo: WITH JAFAR BEARDS

wow :D

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

Disney overdose? :D

[coyul.livejournal.com]

Hahaha omg, I loved the whole thing!!! I wonder if I saved any of my and hikari_cyhan's random chats about it. I know we had some jokes going with several book series'.

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

Oh man. Crossovers with Attolia? That would be interesting.

Aladdin:
Princess Jasmine: Hi! I've been told you're a queen. I'm a spunky princess that represents that cute sassiness that all women have and--
Irene: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU HAVE A PET TIGER AND YOU DO NOT USE IT FOR 'PUBLIC EXAMPLES?' JESUS, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ROYALTY. TELEUS, HANG HER FROM THE WALLS AS AN EXAMPLE.

[coyul.livejournal.com]

LOL, not really crossovers, but just random inside jokes about different books. I'm sure we had some crossovers here or there, though. Like the time we RP'd the Cullens at Hogwarts. :D

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaaa! Oh that would be fun. Alice would have a blast at Divination.

[coyul.livejournal.com]

Emmett discovered blood pops and lol'd.

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

Too many hilarious parts to list them, but I think FAKEDEATHLOL should go on an icon. :)

Thanks for sharing it.

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

Ohh... drat, I can't find a suitable picture for it. Anyone up for the challenge? I suck at icons? (I should get Viv to do it, she has supah photoshop skills...)

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

I am thinking Legos should be involved, CHECKERS.

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...*ponders*

[kyaiah.livejournal.com]

*delurks due to extreme awesomeness*

The entire QoA is Genius.
I think I might have scared my roomie I was laughing so hard.

The wedding plan was equally awesome, though.
Also:

Costis: Could you please keep your gods nice and incorporeal like they’re supposed to be?
Gen: WHERE’S THE FUN IN THAT?

xD

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

Aww! *blush* Thank you.

I totally imagine him shouting all his lines too.

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

[(Anonymous)]

I just wanted you to know, you guys totally just turned around a seriously unhappy night for me. You were admittedly judiciously helped by two de-licious chocolate muffins, but still, BRAVO. And CHEERS.
(Fav line... oh man SO much to love... but I might have to go with:

zumie_ashlen: AND EDDIS IS LIKE UH WHERE'S MAH THEIF
zumie_ashlen: OH SHUT UP EDDIS YOU DON'T NOW MY PAAAAAIN I GREW UP ALL ALONE AND EMO AND DANCING BENEATH ORANGE TREES WHILE YOUR THIEF LEERED AT ME FROM ABOVE
zumie_ashlen: YOU GOT TO RIDE PONIES
zumie_ashlen: SO JUST STFU
viviolo: AND HE'S OKAY ANYWAY
viviolo: PROBABLY
zumie_ashlen: MAYBE
viviolo: LOOK I AM WEARING THE FUCKING EARRINGS

Oooh slightly longer than one line... my bad.

Re: Brilliant. Just brilliant.

[viviolo.livejournal.com]

Glad your day was brightened! :D

I now crave chocolate muffins, though.

Re: Brilliant. Just brilliant.

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

Aww, I'm glad! Hope it stays turned around!

[viviolo.livejournal.com]

Something is very wrong with us, I think!

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

Is that... is that female!Cthulu icon?

And yes, there is.

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

As soon as you said "familiarity with Growing Up Cullen" I knew I was going to love this.

LOLOLOL EARRING FETISH.

zumie_ashlen: OH SHUT UP EDDIS YOU DON'T NOW MY PAAAAAIN I GREW UP ALL ALONE AND EMO AND DANCING BENEATH ORANGE TREES WHILE YOUR THIEF LEERED AT ME FROM ABOVE
zumie_ashlen: YOU GOT TO RIDE PONIES
zumie_ashlen: SO JUST STFU

IS SO MUCH WIN.

WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT? indeed. Oh Costis <3<3<3

and I personally loved IF YOU NEED ME TO, I’LL PUNCH SOME HOLES IN YOUR HEAD SO YOU CAN WEAR THEM. GENIUS.

[zumie-ashlen.livejournal.com]

Your icon! Aww, the twins.

He would faint if he had his ears pierced. HE TOTALLY WOULD.

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

nothing like remembering Tamaki dressing up as Haruhi to bring a smile to your face. :-b

YES. YES. HE WOULD. OMG IS THAT A POINTY OBJECT GET IT AWAY IRENE MAKE THEM TAKE IT AWAY OR I WILL MOAN. LOUDLY.
Irene: And that is different from your normal behavior how...?