Eddis, Attolia, Sounis

A letter to Santa from little Gen:

Dear Santa,
I've been a very good boy this year, and if anyone tells you otherwise, it's probably just one of my cousins, and you shouldn't listen to them. Actually while we're on the subject of my cousins, they all deserve coal.

Santa, can I have a reindeer for Christmas? I'm not afraid of heights, and it would great fun to see the looks on my cousins faces when they see mee fly!

Love,
Eugenides

(Hey I figured if he wanted an e;ephant, he'd want a reindeer too!)

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drashizu.livejournal.com

Gen would get a lump of coal, but while Santa was delivering it, Gen would sneak into his sleigh and steal all the really *good* presents.

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So, he would be "The Thief That Stole Christmas" XD

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Or steal one of the reindeer... AND FLY AWAY WITH IT! XD Yahoo!

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Dear Santa,

While those snowman socks you left me last year are adorable, what I'd really like this Chrismas is a bullet-proof vest.

Sincerely,
Akretenesh

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Dear Santa,

I'm in great need of more ink pots. I keeping going through them fast for some reason.

from
Gen

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Dear Santa,

I already have a great many apricots, so I would really appreciate some new books. And if it were possible, could you give my tutors away to someone else who is a little more in need of them?

Thank you, Santa.

-Sophos

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chubbyleng.livejournal.com

PS. I would appreciate some more chicken, too. =D And cake.

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openedlocket.livejournal.com

Dear Santa,

What I'd really like for Christmas is that boy-thief's crushing and painful defeat.

But I could settle for some more oil for my beard.

-Nahuseresh

Ps. I appreciated that lump of coal last year, it was useful in setting fire to my rooms and burning up all my papers that queen would've gotten.

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Ps. I appreciated that lump of coal last year, it was useful in setting fire to my rooms and burning up all my papers that queen would've gotten.

Saxon approves!

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Dear Santa,

I find myself in a conundrum... I would very much appreciate the matrimonial union between my king and the queen of Eddis, but I'm afraid a certain thief would steal this letter from the post. I'll settle for more soap and a new retort.

Many thanks, Santa.

-the magus

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Dear Santa,

I wish to start by establishing that I do not need nor do I desire anything from a canonized old man. However... My husband has asked me to write this letter, because he finds himself wanting for some strange fashion I've never heard of called jeans. Apparently, he wants to try them on. If you, Santa, end up bringing me a new green dress while leaving him his present, well... Let's just say I would think nothing of it. My husband appears to have rather... negative associations with the one I currently possess.

Your services are greatly appreciated,
Attolia Irene

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A letter from one of Gen's female cousins:

Dear Santa,

Might I have a new pair of earrings this Christmas? I have a pair but sometimes one or both of them go mising - it's the strangest thing, I don't know what happens to them.

Thank you,
(Insert name of one of Gen's many female cousins)

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1221bookworm.livejournal.com

Dear Santa,

I know you don't ususally take things at Christmas, but I have a favor to ask. Will you please take my cousin, Eugenides, back to the North Pole with you this year? You could bring him back again next year. I think it would be safer for him to get away from his cousins for a while. And then maybe they'll all stop beating up on each other when he comes back.

If you can't take him with you, I would love a how-to book on how to handle him and his cousins.

I hope you have had a very restful year,
Helen

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She's so responsible! :)

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Dear Mrs. Claus,

Let me introduce myself, I am Attolia Irene, queen of Attolia. I undstand that your husband is fond of climbing on roofs, slipping down chimneys and other heat and ventilaton ducts, and wandering all over creation at night. I find myself dealing with the same idiosincrasies with my husband Attolis. Please advise.

Sincerely,
Attolia Irene

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You are brilliant!

XD

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I do my best! :D

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1221bookworm.livejournal.com

Dear Attolia Irene,

I am so sorry to hear of your troubles with your husband. You see, I started early on by allowing Santa to go on his little escapades only in controlled circumstances - once a year. The rest of the year, I keep him busy making toys and supervising elves so he can't get into trouble. There is one problem though, all the milk and cookies that the sweet little children leave for him is not at all good for his diet.

I hope this was helpful to you,
Mrs. Claus

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Dear Mrs. Clause,

I am little concerned about my husband's diet, for he mostly eats mutton and jam tarts then works off the weight in idiotic sword fights. However, your advice seems suitable. Perhaps, I could give my husband a calendar of days. On certain days, he is forbidden to gallivant on any rooftops higher than a knoll or face my wrath. This way, I at least know which days he is most likely to injure himself.

PS: I recommend you tell Mr. Claus to share his cookies with his reindeer, or threaten the children with lumps of coal if they don't leave healthier snacks.

Your services are greatly appreciated,
Attolia Irene

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Dear Mr. Clause,

First, allow me to apologize for the celery sticks you've been receiving in place of yummy treats. Second, my name is Eugenides though I am also known as Attolis, and I have a favor to ask. Would you be willing to let me borrow one of your magical reindeer? I find myself in need of safe and speedy travel as my wife (and it seems yours) is frequently interfering with all the life-saving, ninja awesomeness I engage in frequently. I'd like the fastest one thank you, and I promise to return the animal safe and sound.

PS: I'm not even crossing my fingers behind my back. Oh, and I'd like an elephant for Christmas, please!

-Attolis

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I just have to say that you guys are totally awesome. XD

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Hm....

Elves = Costis, Attendants & Barons?

oh, and YOUR ICON!!!!!

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P.S. I beleive that the biggest difference between your husband and mine, dear, is that my husbands like to give things and your husband likes to take them. Mrs. C.

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tiegirl.livejournal.com

aHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

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Have I mentioned how much I love this fandom? ^_^

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Dear Santa,

I don't really need anything, but due to a promise I made I would greatly appreciate if you could bring me ten gold cups.

If you can't, then could you please give me a ladder? It would make it easier when I have to get my king down from the roof.

Sincerely,
Cotis

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theorangethief.livejournal.com

Dear Santa,

Out of the goodness of my heart, I am offering you my many faithful attendants, for in this season of giving, I believe someone needs them MUCH more than I do.

Sincerely,
Gen

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Yes!!!

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I think this is the most annoying Christmas song ever... but who am I to interfere with the crack muse? The original song, I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas, belongs to John Rox.

I WANT AN ELEPHANT FOR CHRISTMAS

I want an elephant for Christmas.
Only an elephant will do.
Don't want a hook, no dinky-tinker guard.
I want an elephant to conquer with and destroy.

I want an elephant for Christmas.
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue.
Just bring him through the palace doors, that's the easy thing to do.

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs.
Oh what joy and what surprise, when I hear my attendants' cries,
And find my elephant's arrived!

I want an elephant for Christmas.
Only an elephant will do.
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses.
I only like elephants; it's not open for discussion.

My wife says the elephant would crush me and the dishes, but then
Tiegirl says elephants only squish Nahurfishes.

There's lots of room for him in our two throne rooms.
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massages (or Costis will).

I want an elephant for Christmas.
Only an elephant will do.
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like elephants; it's not open for discussion.

And elephants like me too!

These lyrics may or may not have appeared on the desk of one Attolia Irene, which upon their perusal were immediately burned in the fireplace.

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*claps* We have a new Christmas classic! ^_^

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We may have an epidemic of children wanting elephants! Ekk!

Thank you!

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This is what Gen really wants with that reindeer... Original song, Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, belongs to Dr. Elmo.

NAHUSERESH GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER

Nahuseresh got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our palace Christmas Eve.
You could say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for Irene and Helen, we believe.

He'd been drinking too much eggnog,
And we begged him not to go.
But he forgot his beard oil,
And he staggered out the door into the snow.

When we found him Christmas morning.
At the scene of the attack.
He had hoof prints on his forehead,
and incriminating hook marks on his back.

Nahuseresh got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our palace Christmas Eve.
You could say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for Irene and Helen, we believe.

Now, we're all so proud of Gen.
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there reading books,
Drinking wine and feeding ducks in the pond.

It's not Christmas without Nahuseresh.
All the ambassadors are dressed in black,
And they just can't help but wonder.
Should they open up his gifts or send them back?

Send them back!

Nahuseresh got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our palace Christmas Eve.
You could say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for Irene and Helen, we believe.

Now, the goat is on the table,
and the pudding made of fig.
And the red and silver candles,
that would just have matched the hair in Nahuseresh's wig.

I've warned all our friends and neighbors,
Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a reindeer,
To a thief with one hand and a grudge.

Nahuseresh got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our palace Christmas Eve.
You could say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for Irene and Helen, we believe.

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That. Was. Too. Funny!!!!! Send them back indeed! Send the other amabassadors back with them - And let Nahuresh's sad fate be a warning to them al.....

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Delightfully done!

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Trying my hand at song parodies:

You're a Mean One, Nahuseresh to the tune of You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Verse 1:
You're a mean one,Nahuseresh
You really are a heel
You’re as caring as a cactus
You're as slimy as an eel
Nahuseresh!
You’re a bad banana with a greasy red beard!

Continue with the song as is, replacing every 'Mr. Grinch' with 'Nahuseresh'...The song was obviously written for him!!

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elle-winters.livejournal.com

Gah! Love the lyrics!! (and ur icon!!!)

IT was definitely made for him! And I think (to extra-sounis-ify it) we should call him Narhuserfish!

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Alright, Nahuserfish it is!!

HOw about this verse:

You're a foul one, Nahuserfish!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unmatched socks.
Your soul is full of gunk
Nahuserfish!
The three words that best describe your beard
Are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk!"

Glad you liked it!!

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And WHAT, exactly, is wrong with having a heart full of unmatched socks?!?!

I've always been a little offended by that lyric... Oh, well.

Although the beard part is perfect. :)

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Sorry, the actually lyric is 'unwashed socks.' Honest...No one likes unwashed socks!

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Thank goodness, then.

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