An Authorial Competition
Jul. 8th, 2008 05:58 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
queensthiefThe second in our KoA Booktalk Competition series, I present to you...
THE ALTERNATE-AUTHOR COMPETITION
Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but when I watched the section of the video around 2:42-48, I had a sudden terrible thought: What if Costis's hopes hadn't come true? What if, rather than becoming the King of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner, Gen had become the King of Attolia by someone else?
Think of your favorite authors--and we know y'all have bunches--and imagine what would have happened if one of them had written The King of Attolia. For my brief, hastily-composed example, I present to you The King of Attolia by Diana Wynne Jones (totally not inspired by me having watched Howl's Moving Castle the day before...):
Gen: *staring into mirror* Oh alas, the scar on my face disfigures my perfect complexion. Since I don't look kingly enough, I guess I shan't act kingly today.
Attolia: Oh, tosh. That scar makes you look dashing and you know it.
Phresine: I COME BEARING A MYSTERIOUS PROPHECY THAT WILL ONLY BECOME CLEAR IN THE LAST FIVE PAGES.
Gen: Oh, bother. Costis, look into deciphering that for me whilst I run away, all rightie?
Costis: *le sigh*
As you see, the structure of the book would have been quite different. ...well, okay, not that different. But MWT's admitted that DWJ is one of her favorite authors, so that's fair. :-b
Anyway, feel free to make your entries as long or as short, as sketchy or as fleshed-out, as you want to! Tell us the author you chose, or make us guess. I know we have lots and lots of creative people in this comm--307, to be exact. So please, contribute! I can't wait to see what y'all come up with! :-)
THE ALTERNATE-AUTHOR COMPETITION
Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but when I watched the section of the video around 2:42-48, I had a sudden terrible thought: What if Costis's hopes hadn't come true? What if, rather than becoming the King of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner, Gen had become the King of Attolia by someone else?
Think of your favorite authors--and we know y'all have bunches--and imagine what would have happened if one of them had written The King of Attolia. For my brief, hastily-composed example, I present to you The King of Attolia by Diana Wynne Jones (totally not inspired by me having watched Howl's Moving Castle the day before...):
Gen: *staring into mirror* Oh alas, the scar on my face disfigures my perfect complexion. Since I don't look kingly enough, I guess I shan't act kingly today.
Attolia: Oh, tosh. That scar makes you look dashing and you know it.
Phresine: I COME BEARING A MYSTERIOUS PROPHECY THAT WILL ONLY BECOME CLEAR IN THE LAST FIVE PAGES.
Gen: Oh, bother. Costis, look into deciphering that for me whilst I run away, all rightie?
Costis: *le sigh*
As you see, the structure of the book would have been quite different. ...well, okay, not that different. But MWT's admitted that DWJ is one of her favorite authors, so that's fair. :-b
Anyway, feel free to make your entries as long or as short, as sketchy or as fleshed-out, as you want to! Tell us the author you chose, or make us guess. I know we have lots and lots of creative people in this comm--307, to be exact. So please, contribute! I can't wait to see what y'all come up with! :-)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Nice idea Jade!
Date: 7/8/08 11:19 pm (UTC)Magus: The Medes are coming! We must be be united, or the evil Mede Emperor will engulf all our countries in darkness!
Gen: Well, since I don't want to be King anyway, I'll go on a quest to stop them! Who's with me?
Irene: Well, since none of them actually like you...
Gen: *fancy swordplay*
Dite: You have my bow!
Ornon: And my axe!
Costis: And my sword!
I went all movie Tolkein there, sorry. Anyone's welcome to do a better, more bookish Tolkein.
Can we make requests? I want to see Jane Austen's version of KOA, if anyone's up for it. *glances around hopefully*
Re: Nice idea Jade!
Date: 7/8/08 11:52 pm (UTC)Jane Austen, you want?
Date: 7/9/08 12:08 am (UTC)"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young queen in possession of a restive kingdom must be in want of a competent king, and not a clever but lackadaisical one.
Gen and Attolia: make witty and barbed remarks at eachother
Costis: falls in love with Lady Heiro.
Heiro: loves him back.
Heiro's father: arranges for Costis to be disgraced to keep him away from his daughter.
Sejanus: schemes to marry Heiro. Schemes against Gen, too.
Heiro's father: would forc his daughter to marry Sejanus.
Costis: despairs.
Gen: exposes Sejanus' treason, establishes himself as king, and allows Costis and Heiro to live happily ever after."
Re: Jane Austen, you want?
From:Re: Jane Austen, you want?
From:no subject
Date: 7/9/08 12:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/9/08 01:09 am (UTC)8 Pages too many describing Attolian landscape.
Minister of War: is Tom Bombidil. Just cause.
Costis: Master, I will follow you!
Gen: Take off the ring. I can not.
Costis: Oh, the burden you bear! My poor master...
Stephanie Meyer:
Gen: Your eyes glow against the darkness of my soul.
Irene: Your beauty surpasses all. How could you love me?
Gen: Because you are my light, my hope, my one true love. *kiss*
*LOLs at Legolas! Dite*
no subject
Date: 7/9/08 09:10 am (UTC)I'm liking the Stephanie Meyer version too. :)
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Date: 9/14/08 07:12 am (UTC)Gen: Can thou deny-eth that mine mutilated limb doth begin these tragic and most hateful events?
Eddis: Alas, I cannot. But, I doth remind you, mine loyal and self-sacrificing vassel (hope I spelled that right), it hath been the vile Attolia who maimed you.
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From:This is too much fun
Date: 7/9/08 01:35 am (UTC)Costis: "Surely Your Majesty isn't thinking of wearing a... Medean coat, and with an unmatched sash?"
Gen: You don't think it gives me an air of -- what's the word I'm thinking of, Costis?"
Costis: "Insouciance, Your Majesty. No."
Gen: "Well that's jolly well too bad."
Costis: *looks stiff*
*COSTIS HELPS GEN BECOME THE KING OF ATTOLIA BY P.G. WODEHOUSE*
Gen: "Now that was a nearty-avoided set of scrapes, Costis."
Costis: "Indeed, Your Majesty. All's well that end's well, If I may say, Your Majesty."
Gen: "Good line, that. Your own?"
Costis: "The poet Shakespeare's."
Gen: "Keen bird, wasn't he?"
Costis: "So I am given to understand, Your Majesty." *coughs discreetly* "If I might beg a favor, Your Majesty?"
Gen: "Anything at all."
Costis: "If Your Majesty would permit me to dispose of the Medean coat..."
Re: This is too much fun
Date: 7/9/08 09:16 am (UTC)That was too funny. I love Jeeves!Costis.
Re: This is too much fun
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From:no subject
Date: 7/9/08 01:40 am (UTC)I take this first sheet of fine striped paper in Celebration of the News about the Accession of His Majesty, Gen, King of Attolia. I expect it to take Longer in Delivery then ever, as no doubt the post carriers will seel fit to halt at each inn along the coach road in order to Celebrate. We all wait for Brother Harry to write us with the details, though you know Men. Two lines dashed anyhow on a Scrap of Paper will constitute a letter. Men. How do they accomplish any business?
Your loving sister,
Jane
no subject
Date: 9/18/08 05:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/9/08 01:40 am (UTC)There will be two versions of the sword fight at the end: one in which Gen wins, one in which he doesn't. And it would not be complete without a chapter in which Fowles the Author sits with the gods and casts bones in order to determine which ending should come first. Also, look for the authors notes somewhere about chapter 13.
As told by Ian Flemming:
Copious amounts of time spent on what Gen eats and wears.
As told by Dickens (or Thomas Hardy):
In between details about the dreariness of the life Costis, as a soldier, leads, Gen angsts about how he cannot escape Fate, and Costis, too, realizes that he, as well as all mankind, is subject to Fate and death.
The Manga version:
This involves lots of pictures of Attolia's breasts, fight scenes, and plot holes that never get explained, as well as a flashback to Gen getting his hand cut off in each of the 126 volumes.
As told by Chaucer:
Fart jokes. Courtly love. More fart jokes. Costis realizes that life is a wheel--while we are on top, we must realize that we will be on the bottom one day, and when things are terrible, we must realize that it will not always be so.
no subject
Date: 7/10/08 02:12 am (UTC)And the manga one made me laugh SO HARD. Especially the flashbacks. *headdesks*
Also, the ending of the Chaucer one: Gen never actually becomes King, because Chaucer dies before finishing the novel. :-b
no subject
Date: 7/9/08 02:42 am (UTC)The King of Attolia by Lynn Flewelling
Sleet-laden winds lash off the winter sea. After a long day of sneaking through the palace, reading, and practicing swordplay, Eugenides, Costis, and the Magus relax by the fire.
Gen: I have an idea of what to do with you, Costis. In the morning I am detaching you from the guard. You won’t like it.
Costis: You’re sending me away, aren’t you? Are you angry with me?
Gen: Angry? Hephestia’s hiney, Costis! You constantly exceed my highest expectations.
Costis: But you’re getting me out of the way! I can be of more help here!
Gen: *distracted for a moment by the glow of the firelight off Costis’s brown curls* This is dangerous work. How can I concentrate on the task at hand if I’m constantly worrying about losing you because of a traitorous baron or assassin?
Costis: Miras’s mandible! It’s almost as if you don’t…trust me.
Gen: Of course I trust you, tali, I mean Lieutenant.
Magus: Now, my dear boys, who wants to help me find the source of all evil in the world and fulfill a prophecy that I can’t actually tell you anything about or else I’ll have to kill you?
Gen and Costis: Ooh, me, ME!
no subject
Date: 7/10/08 02:13 am (UTC)although if you are suggesting Gen/Costis (...Costis/Gen?--OKAY BRAIN YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY SPENT TOO MUCH TIME THINKING ABOUT THIS), I just might have to go all protective-quasi-real-wife on you, you know that.
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Date: 7/9/08 03:14 am (UTC)The King of Attolia by L.M. Mongtomery
GEN: What a glorious day! Costis, do you see those trees? Spring, that beautiful, capricious, reluctant spring, has awakened them to the miracle of youth again, and they are playing games with their old childhood friend, the wind. How I should like to be among them and speak their language! How we should frolic!
COSTIS: *is rude*
GEN: *kills with kindness*
IRENE and EVERYONE: *praises GEN because they've never met ANYONE like HIM, he's not HANDSOME exactly, but he's so UNIQUE and ATTRACTIVE* (though not an orphan or a redhead)
no subject
Date: 7/9/08 11:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/9/08 03:38 am (UTC)Eugenides stared forlornly over the many hilltops of Attolia. His wife, his queen, his love! She had died mere days ago after falling victim to a terrible illness, being buried alive, dug up, buried again, stabbed, poisoned, mauled by a cat, and then finally pecked at by a large black bird. No one had seen it coming.
The king cried bitterly and snuggled up closer to his queen's stiff corpse. She had been buried again that morning, but Gen had missed her so he dug her up again. Costis looked on from a distance and tried to think of a polite way to say "I'm sorry for your grief, but your wife is starting to smell."
Suddenly Eugenides turned to him with a pale ghost of a smile. "Thank you, Costis, for always being such a good friend to me."
Costis blanched. "OH MY GOD! YOU HAVE A REALLY FREAKY EYE!"
He then proceeded to push the king into a large pit, cut him up with a large pendulum blade, and then board up Gen's remains in the wine cellar. Costis then thought he was free from the king and his annoying freaky-ness, but then to the young soldier's horror he heard a scraping noise from inside the brickwork.
"Hey!" the king called. "I'm not dead yet!"
Costis buried his face in his hands. "Why can't you act like a proper murder victim?"
no subject
Date: 7/9/08 03:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
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From:Oh, man
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 7/11/08 10:34 pm (UTC) - ExpandRe: Oh, man
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Date: 7/9/08 05:38 am (UTC)Gen:I shall be sneaky an pretend to be an idiot and shall save my kingdom through lies and deceit! And witty remarks!
Aslan: *roars* Son of Adam, mend your ways. Be strong and upright. Lead your kingdom through goodness and trust.
Gen: *mends ways* Look, Aslan, mine enemy, the vile Mede!
Nahusaresh: Look! Demon in the form of a Lion! Begone, evil apparition!
Aslan: *roars, turns Nahusaresh into Ass*
Gen: Ah ha! Nahusaresh the Noxious!
no subject
Date: 7/9/08 06:45 pm (UTC)*dies*
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Date: 7/9/08 12:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/9/08 12:26 pm (UTC)Gen: "My god keeps me safe -- do you say you want proof? Here, I'll stand on my only hand, up on the roof!"
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Date: 7/9/08 03:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 7/9/08 12:33 pm (UTC)Gen: "Dance with me."
Irene: "I assure you, sir, I have not the smallest intention of dancing this evening."
no subject
Date: 7/9/08 04:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/9/08 05:20 pm (UTC)Really? Could you link me please? My friend sent me some Atlantis episodes last week, and I think I've found a new fandom. (Liking your icon too :) )
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Date: 7/9/08 09:02 pm (UTC)Costis: *agonises over Gen for pages*
Gen: *pretends not to agonise over Costis for pages*
Gen: I invented something cute!
*hot make out scene*
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Date: 7/9/08 10:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/9/08 11:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/10/08 01:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 7/13/08 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/13/08 08:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 7/13/08 06:41 pm (UTC)once more
Date: 7/14/08 12:45 am (UTC)II.57. In appearance, the new king was harmless to the barons, hurtful to the country, and Eddis' peace proved more dangerous than her war. The queen had given rule to her lord, but he turned it loose upon the court. Negligence was rewarded with clemency, treason with promotion. In an atmosphere of laxity, the spymaster's agents among the Mede were apprehended. Brought before a levee of the imperial armies, they were commanded to return and bear home report of its size. Further revealing the intended invasion, men of Sounis were suborned and sent against Attolis. The King's Guard negligent, the king barely saved his own life. Royal pardons brought Captain and Spymaster into submission.
Indolent bearing concealed a scheming mind. The king napped during Court, and coerced the barons by private means. It was his habit to prowl the palace by night. One would wake to his lord's awful visage above him like a merciless dream, another be confronted with the proof of plots made in the dark. First in secret, the great barons and their heir were destroyed. Where guilt was lacking, evidence was provided.
Re: once more
Date: 7/14/08 03:50 am (UTC)Re: once more
From:Re: once more
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Date: 7/14/08 09:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/14/08 09:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 7/26/08 02:24 am (UTC)---
Lolol, that was fun.
no subject
Date: 7/27/08 11:17 pm (UTC)Also, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! It was very cute. Heeheehee.
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