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queensthiefTHE IMPORTANT PROLOGUE:
Dite wrote a ditty
That was really rather snitty
And it got the court all giggling a lot
We know what happened then
(For we read it now and then)
But we wonder, Dite Younger's words--were what?
THE VERY IMPORTANT EXPLANATION:
As a post by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
saved29 has prompted a recurrence of curiosity over what exactly the words of "The King's Wedding Night" by Erondites the Younger are, common comment consensus has agreed that the only solution is to make them up ourselves. Thus it is declared:
THE "THE KING'S WEDDING NIGHT" LYRICS (& IF YOU WISH, MUSIC) WRITING CONTEST!
The rules for this contest are as follows:
1) Post your lyrics here in this very thread for everyone to enjoy.
2) Although the total degree of obscenity in this song is left vague in the book, I would like to ask that you please do not be too gross. We are an all-ages comm. We have both young minds and old delicate people on this community. Their brains need protecting. We need to respect that.
3) NO ENFORCEMENTS OF ANY PARTICULAR (OR EVEN JUST "ANY") RHYME SCHEME OR METER WILL BE UPHELD. LONG. SHORT. MIDDLING. DO WHAT YOU WILL. BE FREE, LITTLE DANCING BEARS!
4) You can submit more than one "The King's Wedding Night" but you are only guaranteed one prize.
5) Please note the following:
THE DEADLINE FOR THIS AWESOME CONTEST IS SUNDAY THE 18TH OF JANUARY, AT WHATEVER MIDNIGHT YOUR TIME ZONE HAS.
Awards will be announced the following week.
THE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PRIZES:
Since I am posting this thing and making up rules &c., I hereby declare that I will draw one not terribly ornate (because when would I do this?) piece of Queen's Thief-related fanart for everyone who participates, as per their PG-13 or lower request. Again, everyone who contributes gets a prize.
If anyone wants to contribute additional prizes, inc. but not limited to:
-invisible knitting needles
-cookies
-red wool beards
-scraps from the sail of a pirate ship
. . .they are so very welcome to do so, and can email me about it at etvulpesvelox@gmail.com.
Go forth, and create!
Dite wrote a ditty
That was really rather snitty
And it got the court all giggling a lot
We know what happened then
(For we read it now and then)
But we wonder, Dite Younger's words--were what?
THE VERY IMPORTANT EXPLANATION:
As a post by
saved29 has prompted a recurrence of curiosity over what exactly the words of "The King's Wedding Night" by Erondites the Younger are, common comment consensus has agreed that the only solution is to make them up ourselves. Thus it is declared:THE "THE KING'S WEDDING NIGHT" LYRICS (& IF YOU WISH, MUSIC) WRITING CONTEST!
The rules for this contest are as follows:
1) Post your lyrics here in this very thread for everyone to enjoy.
2) Although the total degree of obscenity in this song is left vague in the book, I would like to ask that you please do not be too gross. We are an all-ages comm. We have both young minds and old delicate people on this community. Their brains need protecting. We need to respect that.
3) NO ENFORCEMENTS OF ANY PARTICULAR (OR EVEN JUST "ANY") RHYME SCHEME OR METER WILL BE UPHELD. LONG. SHORT. MIDDLING. DO WHAT YOU WILL. BE FREE, LITTLE DANCING BEARS!
4) You can submit more than one "The King's Wedding Night" but you are only guaranteed one prize.
5) Please note the following:
THE DEADLINE FOR THIS AWESOME CONTEST IS SUNDAY THE 18TH OF JANUARY, AT WHATEVER MIDNIGHT YOUR TIME ZONE HAS.
Awards will be announced the following week.
THE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PRIZES:
Since I am posting this thing and making up rules &c., I hereby declare that I will draw one not terribly ornate (because when would I do this?) piece of Queen's Thief-related fanart for everyone who participates, as per their PG-13 or lower request. Again, everyone who contributes gets a prize.
If anyone wants to contribute additional prizes, inc. but not limited to:
-invisible knitting needles
-cookies
-red wool beards
-scraps from the sail of a pirate ship
. . .they are so very welcome to do so, and can email me about it at etvulpesvelox@gmail.com.
Go forth, and create!
no subject
Date: 1/4/09 07:12 pm (UTC)Damn, I was looking forward to those invisible kniting needles.
no subject
Date: 1/4/09 07:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 1/4/09 07:21 pm (UTC)And I vote you must put the fanart up on the Sounis as well!
no subject
Date: 1/4/09 08:18 pm (UTC)'Once there was a queen so lovely and fair,
And a boy forced upon her with goat-like hair.
The people they laughed when the wedding was done,
But as for the wedding night, there was none.
The boy was a thief, but a king? Oh, no!
He had not the heart of the queen white as snow.
So try as he may, try as he might,
His bed was empty on his wedding night.'
Keep in mind that this is the sort of thing you'd chant while running away from Gen. Running very far away.
no subject
Date: 1/4/09 09:35 pm (UTC)My humble entry
Date: 1/4/09 09:55 pm (UTC)"The King's Wedding Night"
as interpreted by Mycenaeth
~*~*~*~
Eugenides the small
Was lost in the hall
On the way to his wedding night
"Tis dark!" muttered he
Tripping over his feet
"Those servants have blown out the lights!"
He searched up and down
Holding firmly his crown
Til at last the Queen's room did appear
And yet, when he knocked
The door remained locked!
"Open up, my love, I am here!"
The door budged not a wiggle
From inside, a giggle!
As the queen sat and laughed at the joke
Eugenides turned red
Deprived of wedding bed!
And quivering with rage he choked,
"Whyfore, my sweet,
do you leave me on the street?"
As futilely the door he pounded
The Queen laughed as she said
"I'd rather be dead,
Than by a goat-boy be mounted!"
The King stood and stewed
Muttering words rather crude
And snarled and pleaded and kicked
Then came inspiration
"I need no invitation!"
And quickly the door he lockpicked!
"That greasy little thief
Is beyond belief"
Attolia thought with frustration
"If you come to my bed
I'll cut off your head!"
She warned him with great indignation
"Tis the other head I'm thinking of,
Come here and I'll show you, love."
He said, undeterred by her threat.
"I fear both are too short,"
Attolia said with a snort
"And morn will find me a virgin yet!"
Then with expression austere
She dealt a spank to his rear
And punished the boy til he ran
"There will be no consummation"
Attolia gave her proclamation
"Come back when you've become a real man!"
Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/4/09 09:59 pm (UTC)Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/4/09 10:00 pm (UTC)Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/4/09 10:02 pm (UTC)Excellent!
Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/4/09 10:02 pm (UTC)Oh, if Gen heard that he really would be murderous. Though I'd hate to be in Attolia's way if she got wind of it.
no subject
Date: 1/5/09 12:03 am (UTC)A challenge!
Date: 1/5/09 02:08 am (UTC)It occurred to me that all the best ribald folksongs employ heavy double entendre, and Attolia is a seafaring nation, so...
A goatherd fell off of his mountain
Boasting he’d captain a ship
Pinned his name to the door of the cabin
While the wheel spun away from his grip
None of it went as he planned, oh!
When the captain had only one hand
So tangled with mainsail and mizzen
He tripped over anchor and boom
When he thought he’d grasped firm on the tiller
He was tossed all adrift in the spume
Left face down and choking on sand, oh!
While the ship sailed serenely unmanned
So if you spy off the prow of Attolia
That her figurehead dangles half-fast
Ask Sounis and Mede if they’d venture
To steal ships while lacking a mast
And pretend that you don’t understand, oh!
When the song and the singer are banned
Re: A challenge!
Date: 1/5/09 02:58 am (UTC)Brava, brava!
no subject
Date: 1/5/09 03:01 am (UTC)Re: A challenge!
Date: 1/5/09 03:21 am (UTC)What rebrobates this community spawns.
Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/5/09 04:32 am (UTC)Re: A challenge!
Date: 1/5/09 04:37 am (UTC)Very nice! <3
no subject
Date: 1/5/09 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 1/5/09 11:30 am (UTC)Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/5/09 11:31 am (UTC)*bows humbly*
I am glad that my form was of use to you.
Re: A challenge!
Date: 1/5/09 11:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 1/5/09 11:57 am (UTC)gah, i can never think of rhymes when i want to!
no subject
Date: 1/5/09 12:06 pm (UTC)http://www.rhymezone.com/
Although one of them comes up cold if you put in "explicate," and the other leaves out "validate." Still a help! Still not cheating! :P
no subject
Date: 1/5/09 12:32 pm (UTC)Re: A challenge!
Date: 1/5/09 04:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 1/5/09 05:32 pm (UTC)Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/5/09 05:34 pm (UTC)Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/7/09 01:13 am (UTC)Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/7/09 02:45 am (UTC)Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/10/09 09:22 pm (UTC)Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/10/09 09:28 pm (UTC)Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/10/09 11:13 pm (UTC)Re: A challenge!
Date: 1/11/09 02:37 am (UTC)A slightly ridiculous lymric
Date: 1/18/09 10:22 pm (UTC)"The King's Wedding Night"
He lies in his bed, shaking down to the bone
And by now it’s quite really well-known
On the King’s Wedding Night,
‘Twas a wonderful sight:
The King, in his bed, all alone!
The King’s piping voice, as high as a lark,
Claims, "‘tis a walk in the park."
But on the King’s Wedding Night
It’s “I can’t find a light
And I’m terribly ‘fraid of the dark!”
He tried hard to strong,
But it all went quite wrong –
On the King’s Wedding Night
Try hard as he might,
It’s all been told in this song!
Kings wedding night ballad
Date: 1/19/09 12:30 am (UTC)Twas late in the evening the king did arrive
At the door of his charming and beautiful bride
And he prayed to his gods that he'd only survive
For it was the King's Wedding Night.
He started to knock on the queen's chamber door,
Then he thought about something he hadn't before,
A thought that did cause him to slip to the floor.
On the King's very own Wedding Night.
"I know nothing of Marriage and how to begin,
I know only of thievery and how to get in
to a palace and steal all the treasure within.
What to do on my own Wedding Night?"
The king thought for a moment or perhaps maybe more
Because thinking is something he'd not tried before
But at last (a long last) he did spring from the floor
So to save the King's Wedding Night.
Towards the edge of the palace he quickly did creep
Up two flights of stairs that were ever so steep,
Then he stopped at a door, and he baa'd like a sheep
Such a fool on his own Wedding Night.!
The king he did wait just a second or two
‘til the door was unlocked and then opened to shew
The Eddesian ambass'dor in clothing of blue
And confused on the King's Wedding Night..
"My King?" Ornon said with a smirk in his voice.
Said the King, " I know but I haven't a choice!
I don't know how to make my new wife rejoice
That tonight is her first Wedding Night.!"
And the Sing sat upon Ornon's bed with a sigh,
"Oh Ornon please teach me or else I may die,
For the queen has my hand and she may want my eye
For I'm missing my own Wedding Night.."
What then happened next it shall never be said
But at last our new King was now ready for bed
And in shutting the door the ambassador said
"How strange is the King's Wedding Night."
And Our King, now with knowledge to help him along
Walked back to his chambers a singing a song
But suddenly knew something else had gone wrong
And on this, the King's Wedding Night.!
He raced to the window and cried in despair
For the sunlight was dancing the dust in the air
And as the sun rose the King cried, "It's not fair!"
For he'd missed the King's Wedding Night.
Re: Kings wedding night ballad
Date: 1/19/09 01:12 am (UTC)Re: Kings wedding night ballad
Date: 1/19/09 05:29 am (UTC)Whoa.
*hem*
*stifles laughter*
That was...
*sputter*
*cough*
AWESOME.
Look, I know it's a book, but just in case our good friend Cornelia Funke is right, and there IS a Gen somewhere, I'm gonna go hide in my closet now.
Quickly.
Re: Kings wedding night ballad
Date: 1/19/09 05:26 pm (UTC)and you're right, if Gen is out there somewhere, he may be coming for us very soon (which may not necessarily be a bad thing....)
Re: Kings wedding night ballad
Date: 1/19/09 10:13 pm (UTC)Re: My humble entry
Date: 1/31/09 05:41 pm (UTC)Ohmygosh this is hilarious and witty. Whyyy are you so awesome. XD XD <3